Bitch Stole My Cookies
I baked cookies last night. I ate 2. I returned home from work. Two thirds had disappeared. Since when has “Hey, would you like a cookie?” ever translated into “Please eat all the cookies”? Even when people say “Help yourself”, unless you know them really well, when do you actually just dig in and eat ALL THE THINGS?
I seriously thought, 50…60 cookies, that’ll be alright. I’ll come home tonight and the jar will be pretty much still full. I WAS WRONG.
And what irritates me the most is that this girl is always on some sort of a diet. And she’s constantly complaining about not losing weight. You could just…I don’t know…put down that tub of ice cream? NOT EAT 30 COOKIES IN THE 8 HOURS YOUR ROOMMATE IS AT WORK? How can you not connect the dots?
Ricky Gervais once did a stand-up where he, to put it bluntly, slagged off fat people. And whether you like it or not, he had a point. For most people (especially in this case), you could lose weight by simply…oh, I don’t know…DRINKING WATER INSTEAD OF A COKE FOR EVERY MEAL. Or maybe NOT EATING A BLOCK OF CHOCOLATE IN ONE SITTING. Or…you know…NOT EATING ALL YOUR ROOMMATE’S COOKIES.
I can put up with messy, never taking out the trash, never really cleaning the pots and pans properly.
BUT KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY FOOD. Especially baked goods that I slaved all night making.
Rant over.
Still stewing.
Pissed off.
